#49

another belly

grows, and I hate that I ask

why not me instead?

Such beautiful truth courtesy of Jenny of the soap scum scavenger

#48

on the cusp of birth

disbelief still reigns, as if

this is just dreaming

Courtesy of me.

#47

on pins and needles…
…aware of every twinge…
evil PIO!


Courtesy of Linda @ “I’ve Got Bad Plumbing”
In the 2WW of IVF Cycle #6

#46

Here I am again
Kneeling on the bathroom tile
Praying for two lines.


Courtesy of sweet Megan, Bottoms off and On the Table who is having the shittiest day ever.

#45

it's winning the war
so if you lose a battle
don't let it kill you


Great advice courtesy of sweet Maddy (of Mad Hatter, late for a very important pregnancy)

#44

please please please please please
please please please please please please please
oh! please please please please


courtesy of me, kate

#43

So many, I see,
Giving up on their own eggs.
I'm glad they've found peace.

And yet...I wonder
About where my journey ends,
With a baby, please?


Courtesy of Maddy (Late for a very important pregnancy)

#42

Still want motherhood

No more sex or treatments now

Will adoption work?

The price to be mom

It’s so much higher for us

Emotion and cash

Courtesy of Sweet Jenn (Infertile Sushi Loving Princess)

#41

4, Take 4

align ... divide ... rest
warm petrie bed, floating safe
four hopes sleep tonight

Courtesy of Linda of I've got bad plumbing, written after her 4th IVF retrieval

#39 and 40

My body betrays
me, I don't understand why
What is the answer?


Two years we have tried
Others have tried much longer
O' Child, where are you?


Courtesy of sweet Jenn (the sushi loving princess)

#38

colors shift and change
and leaves fall in big clouds of
orange, yellow, red

then comes snow. my heart says
Wait! I am not quite ready
this change is so fast!

(I am, by nature
slow). Snow is falling, thick, fast
the size of cornflakes

it cannot wait for
me to become ready, it
is already falling


Courtesy of Me, in snowy new hampshire

Lovely blog award

Lovely blog award
for heartfelt heartsick haiku
thank you Mad Hatter!

#37

Tug of War

Nine years and counting
My body wants to give up
But my heart will not

We should keep trying
When will enough be enough?
Can't make up my mind


Courtesy of Anonymous

#36

Fuck you period
Why won't you bloody well come?
I hate you. Please come.


TRUTH courtesy of Mad Hatter

#34 & #35

A dream lit in me-

And faded before I woke.

Put me back to sleep

***

I tried for so long-

I thought I finally won,

God knew the real score.

2 lovely haikus courtesy of Kate @ twoweekwait

#33

Each time you wonder
maybe this, maybe this will
be the thing that works


Courtesy of me

#31, #32

two week wait? I wish.

my two weeks have turned to three

I'm ready: yes? no?

come on positive!

I am ready to see you

come on two sweet lines!

Courtesy of impatientMe

#30

Living on eggshells
Treading softly, carefully
Afraid to feel joy


Courtesy of Mad Hatter

#29

FRIENDS

I am so grateful
Blogging let me meet new friends
Just like my sweet Kate


Awwww. Courtesy of Jenn at Infertile Sushi-Loving Princess

#28

The Universe grows
I pray it expands to give
me one more to love


A midnight Haiku courtesy of IF Optimist